#3: revisiting old ideas
I find myself going back to Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert now and then and rereading excerpts from it. She talks about ideas being ‘disembodied, energetic life-forms’ that jump from person to person. They take root if the person is willing to accept them and bring them to fruition. I know this may sound far fetched but I think we experience it all of the time. Anyone who engages in a creative activity must relate to that feeling of having an idea that’s at the tip of your tongue but you just can’t get it out.
I drew this at the start of 2022 when my January blues were at their peak. I still hung onto this idea because I didn’t feel like it reflected the gloomy feeling I wanted it to. A couple of days ago, I revisited it. I’ve been learning a lot about colour, texture and composition lately and really loved creating this. I was more mindful about where I wanted the focus to be. I guess in this case the idea came back to me when I was more ready for it.
I definitely think the piece above is much closer to exuding the mood I wanted. The inspiration behind this is a sequence from Tamasha which I’m still so captivated by. I remember being a 19 year old going to watch this film in the cinema when it came out, I was completely floored. At that time I couldn’t share how much this film meant to me as it felt like no one else understood the beauty of it. Tamasha now has a huge community of people online who understand and appreciate the film which makes me so happy to see. This song in particular depicts the feeling of melancholy in such a unique way. You can see the character Tara going through her life, she does not seem sad (ironically) but there’s an emptiness in her. I love how the bleak lyrics are paired with the upbeat music, it makes it uneasy but so catchy, it’s like a rollercoaster.
The sequence shows how life can pass you by while you’re on autopilot, but that spark could still be missing. I enjoyed reading this article on Film Companion about it - as they mentioned that this mood could be caused by anything including a lack of creative fulfilment. That’s something I can definitely relate to. Before the pandemic I was doing well in my job and I was socialising but that spark was missing. It took the solitude, shown similarly in the song, during the lockdown to help me realise this. Tamasha is like a resource of inspiration for me and revisiting this idea reminded me of that.
